Utopia

O.R.A Dearest, I had a dream. It was the best dream I had. Some were a blur and some were vividly clear. Why did I dream about you? And why does it giving me the "feeling"? The feeling that I only feel with you. And it goes something like this. In my dream, I saw your Myday that you are watching Peaky Blinders, a favorite TV series that I am currently watching. So I chatted you. I replied to your Myday hoping our conversation will lead into something. (BTW, you are my forever crush in real-life.) Then you replied back and we were having a progressive conversation. You were telling me about wanting to study medicine and stuffs. After a long chat in my dream, our chat box, became a public group chat. A friend of mine tagged my friends inside the chat box spreading the news that we are chatting and getting close. What you did was you called me instead and we talked. When our conversation was leading to an end, I asked you why people can see our chat? You answered th...

I have been so sure of myself that no man can ever please me. I get easily bored when talking to them. It's like I'd rather read a book or watch a romantic movie that is more interesting and more romantic than my love life. When I first met you, I thought it was just going to be a normal "attracted at first sight" phenomenon. You know, the typical feeling you get when he made the first eye contact. But I was completely wrong. Days passed and we were becoming closer. First we were talking about just computers. It was kind of awkward at first but as the days got longer, we were getting closer than ever. Those were the days where I was always looking forward for the training. I even realized that I was putting on a little extra effort on the way I normally look. Thinking about it lately, I should supposedly not get attracted to you. You should be the least of the people that I would get attracted to. Those baggy jeans, black jacket, always a wearing a snap back c...

So okay. Life sometimes is literally fucked-up but who cares? we are still living. Why don't you comment and message me for us to talk about our shitty lives eh? I watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S cause it tells me that life is going to be this way. I wanna know your thoughts and dreams. I also want to share mine.

I just received a not-so-good news today. Crap. When the HR told me earlier that thing, I felt stressed out. It was something like, WTF do you want to transfer me down there? I am already having a good time in my place. Now I can't do my work properly. I don't know what I am going to do. My mind is scattered. I can't think straight. Everything seems so far away and my eyes are wandering to somewhere unknown. An unknown destination that keeps going and going. My body felt tired instantly. Lump as a sloth. Mind and body don't have coordination anymore. I played the song I listened to when I'm not myself. When I think things are not getting my way. I felt relaxed for a little bit but worry crept in again. I read career fortune in the net to calm myself with the positive outlooks. But the feeling is still there. I'm still on the stage of denial, anger, and bargaining. I gotta accept this reality ASAP cause it will only ruin me. I thought of writing down what I'...